If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He kissed a someone with a penis
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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