I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize