Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
420 ftw
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
