Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No...this little piggys going to the bar
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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