Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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