Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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