Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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