his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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