Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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