She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
