She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize