facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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