Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
