Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
