Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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