Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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