Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
