i don't like sucking hair
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
