Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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