i permit you to call me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
