Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
