We're facebook friends in real life
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
