i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
