I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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