But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize