Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
