PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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