hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
