I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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