That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am available for nakedness
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize