dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish you could order shots online.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
