I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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