Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
