why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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