well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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