Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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