i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize