i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
