i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
