they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
