Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
