Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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