her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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