How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think i got beer on your cat.
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