Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
