just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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