Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
