pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
