this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
