I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
