Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
