i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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