Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
