Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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