we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
