He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
