Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have post one night stand depression
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize