I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
