porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize