HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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